Twenty Thousand Units Down

From Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)
To Iota (DEV)

Do you have the documentation for the room below level 4? One of my testers was noclipping below the level and found the room, none of us knew it existed until today when she found it and asked about it. We don't know of a way to access the room by ordinary in-game means, but the contents of the room are definitely a concern.

From Iota (DEV)
To Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)

What?

From Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)
To Iota (DEV)

There is a hidden room below ancient_templ that has contents themed around bestiality. It appears on today's build and yesterday's, we don't currently have any builds older than that installed, but I can say it's appearing on all of my testers' machines, this room is in the game. Do you have any documentation on how this room is meant to be accessed, and if we're allowing this kind of content into the game? It would be helpful to know what our considerations should be here.

From Iota (DEV)
To Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)

I didn't know about this at all. Get a full report made about this.

From Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)
To Team G Channel

Okay Geese! We are going to get a report compiled regarding this room that Hammer found. Ace and Thimble, please scour the level for any way to access this room as a player, currently we only know how to get there by noclipping, but it would be great to have an idea as to whether this room can be accessed by ordinary means. Everyone else, go into this room, just a reminder that it is 20,000 units below the center of the level, you won't see it at first as you're noclipping down, but it will come into view once you get close enough. Please add to the following thread with any details you find about what's going on in there, whether they seem obvious or hidden, we just want a full breakdown of what this room appears to be. Descriptions, screenshots, item IDs, everything you can provide is helpful.

Hammer will be writing the report for this. We're going to group everything about this room into one report. This is our top priority right now, drop everything else we had planned for today.

From Pie (QA TEAM G TESTER)
To Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)

I fuckin love this room I would fuck the shit out of this entire room

From Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)
To Pie (QA TEAM G TESTER)

Fuck's sake, are you drunk at 9 AM?

From Pie (QA TEAM G TESTER)
To Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)

I'm allowed faggot

From Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)
To Pie (QA TEAM G TESTER)

Well, I am gay, you have got me there.

Report 1139 - ancient_templ hidden room with questionable contents
Author - Hammer

Navigate to the apparent center of ancient_templ. Enable noclip mode. Proceed straight downwards. After proceeding approximately 500 units below the level, a distant entity will become visible. Continue downwards towards the entity, which is located 20,000 units below the level. Upon arriving at this entity, it will become apparent that this is a room with several features that center around bestiality / zoophilia / zoosexuality .

The room is cubic in dimensions, and aligned with compass directions. Walls are all txtr_33 , floor is flr_8 , ceiling is txtr_1 .

In the southeast corner, dog model d0g_3 is seen in an animation mounting and humping dog model d0g_1 , while beside them, d0g_3 humps villager model vg_h_2 . Alterations have not been made to these models to include genitals or to remove clothes; in both couplings, this is effectively an act of dry humping, with no actual penetration visible. Bestiality is a salient word for this scene.

On the north wall is text that matches something referred to as The Zeta Principles . Zoophiles are known to use these pseudo "laws" to ethically justify the act of bestiality, or, a human having sex with an animal. The text appears in Times New Roman, centered alignment.

In the middle of the room, several phallic shapes appear, "tips" pointed upwards towards the ceiling. These objects have no pre-defined item IDs, and appear to be rendered after the level has loaded. There appear to be 11 phallic objects resembling canine penises ( penis , dick , cock , wiener , boner , hard-on , hardon, hard on ), 1 phallic object resembling an equine ( horse , stallion ) penis, and 1 phallic object which may be suidae ( pig ).

Against the west wall of the room are framed pictures, using the picture frame models pfrm_1 , pfrm_2 , pfrm_3 , and pfrm_4 . The pictures appear to be recreations of mostly historic / mythological examples of bestiality. From left to right, they appear to be depictions of Leda and the Swan, The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife, a depiction of a cave painting featuring bestiality although it is unclear if this is referencing a specific real-life cave painting, and finally there is an example of cartoon furry pornography ( porn , yiff ) where a bipedal ( anthro ) fox uses his penis to penetrate a quadrupedal ( feral ) golden retriever vaginally, though QA has not been able to determine an extant source for this image after using the search features of a handful of popular furry websites / databases.

On the ground in the southwest corner are three interactable / readable objects, each using the book_2 model. All three when interacted with display the text of guides on how to have sex with different animals, which appear to be copied from existing guides from the internet. The southmost book teaches how to have sex with female dogs ( bitch , bitches ), the next book northwards teaches how to have sex with dolphins, and the northmost book teaches how to have sex with male dogs ( stud , studs ).

It is uncertain to QA whether the contents of this room are legal to publish, including depictions of bestiality, directions on how to perform bestiality, and writings justifying bestiality.

QA has not currently found a method of accessing this room without noclip. The only way to enter the room appears to be through cheat codes, though it must be emphasized that QA has received no documentation on this room, and so if there is an intended way to enter the room by ordinary means, QA may have missed it so far.

Screenshots of the room are attached to this report for QA purposes.

From Iota (DEV)
To Dev Channel

What the fuck is this?

From Mustache (DEV)
To Dev Channel

looooooool

From Wedge (DEV)
To Dev Channel

loooooooooooool

From Iota (DEV)
To Dev Channel

When I find out who did this I am either buying them lunch or googling how to hide a dead body, I haven't quite decided yet.

From Pavement (DEV)
To Dev Channel

lololololol

From Iota (DEV)
To Dev Channel

Seriously who did this? We're going to look at the commit records and find out when (and by whom) the code was added. You might as well come clean and say it was a joke that you didn't think anyone would notice. This wasn't ever discussed as something that was supposed to be included in the game.

From Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)
To Hammer (QA TEAM G TESTER)

Really good work today, thank you.

From Hammer (QA TEAM G TESTER)
To Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)

Thanks for saying so. I uh, am not really disturbed by these kinds of contents. I just struggle to know what's okay to say professionally.

From Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)
To Hammer (QA TEAM G TESTER)

You did great, the balance was perfect.

From Ace (QA TEAM G TESTER)
To Thimble (QA TEAM G TESTER)

Oh my fucking god there's another room

From Thimble (QA TEAM G TESTER)
To Ace (QA TEAM G TESTER)

no

From Ace (QA TEAM G TESTER)
To Thimble (QA TEAM G TESTER)

Go another 20,000 units below the bestiality room we've already been looking at

From Thimble (QA TEAM G TESTER)
To Ace (QA TEAM G TESTER)

NO

Report 1140 - ancient_templ 2nd hidden bestiality room
Author - Ace

Directly related to Report 1139, there is a hidden room 40,000 units below the center of ancient_templ. This room is cubic in shape, and features a villager model ( vg_h_5 ) playing a banjo while sitting on a chair in the center of the room. Surrounding him, several villager models from the game can be seen mounting and humping various animal models from the game. Full list of models and animations is attached to this report.

Like the room detailed in Report 1139, there is no known way to access this room by ordinary means.

From Iota (DEV)
To Dev Channel

One of you fuckers is getting fired.

From Crimson (DEV)
To Dev Channel

This is the best thing that has ever happened.

From Hot Lava (IT)
To Iota (DEV)

So, this news is going to be kinda brutal for someone, most likely. I was able to find out that this code was added to the game alongside the addition of one of the horse models, hors_6. This horse model features kind of different approaches to geometry compared to the other horse models, and so I did some digging, and it turns out that this horse model appears to be mmmmmostly copied from a fan mod of the previous game. Like, the fan model was copied, and then a few details were changed, maybe to make it look like it wasn't copied. And, trojan'd into that fan model, was all of this stuff that made the hidden rooms appear in ancient_templ. I don't know half of how they actually pulled that off, I would check if other levels have the same rooms added, because them being able to include injection code for level IDs they couldn't have known makes no sense.

But. Yeah.

Someone on the dev team seems to have been copying off of a fan's work, and that fan was way too clever.

From Iota (DEV)
To Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)

Does the same room appear below any other levels?

From Viper (QA TEAM G COORDINATOR)
To Iota (DEV)

...Yes, the same room appears below twenty out of twenty other levels we just looked at based on this.

From Iota (DEV)
To Mustache (DEV)

IT informed me that you committed hors_6 into the game. Did you do this, to the best of your memory?

From Mustache (DEV)
To Iota (DEV)

Yes, I originally modeled hors_6 as a fan project, before I was hired onto the team officially. Why?

From Iota (DEV)
To Mustache (DEV)

The commit for hors_6 was the source of this room being added to the game. After the model data, it included more data that would add the room below any level that the hors_6 model was loaded into. Did you put that in there, back when you were a fan, as some kind of joke?

From Mustache (DEV)
To Iota (DEV)

Oh my god I'm not nearly funny enough to have thought to do that. Did it really get in from hors_6?

From Iota (DEV)
To Mustache (DEV)

Fuck's sake.

End Of Shift Report
Author - Iota

Removing hors_6 from the game due to QA reports identifying severe issues with the model. Future compiles should omit hors_6 model.