To Thine Own Self Be Zoo Volume 1 Issue 1 Issue 2 Issue 3 Issue 4 Issue 5 Issue 6 Issue 7 Issue 8 Issue 9 Issue 10 Issue 11 Issue 12 Issue α Volume 2 Issue 1 Issue β Issue 2 Issue 3 Issue 4 Volume 3 Issue 1 Issue 2 Issue 3 -Issue γ- Issue 4 Volume 4 Issue 1 |  | Volume 3, Issue γ Taste Became Bones Night Crew A Letter of Aghast Dismay Bell Locations Poems
# Locations 11, A room hidden in the county courthouse: the room is 10ft in depth, 4ft wide, and 30ft in height, with the walls and ceiling made of cement and the floor made of orange ceramic tiles. In the room is a desk with a drawer mounted under its surface, and a wooden chair of very high quality that does not creak at all. The desk drawer contains $6,000 in $20 bills bundled together in stacks; the drawer also has a hidden compartment which contains a book; hundreds of names are written in the book, with no indication of why they are here (all names in the book are the names of zoophiles in the county). Sitting on top of the desk is a children’s toy keyboard which is perfectly in tune. There are large cracks in some of the walls. There is no source of light in this room. There is no entrance or exit. There is a spider the size of a basketball on the ceiling. 12, A secret stop in Hamburg’s subway system that one can only be taken to if they are visibly dressed as a furry and if they leave an offering to the driver of zoosexual pride swag on the floor of the subway; examples of a suitable offering could be a handful of zoo stickers or a piece of jewelry that has a zeta on it. This secret stop, located underground, has a tavern with a lovely porch and several cozy dining rooms and nooks inside. Hallway after hallway, staircases and lifts and doors free to be opened, is there ever an end to the rooms here? The tavern is staffed with canines, primates, mustelids, equines, and other animals, some of whom can speak in human languages. The staff revile human money, and adore praises of their physical beauty, it is euphoric and intoxicating to them to be told how wonderful their animal features look. 13, A park in the woods consisting of boardwalk paths winding over a lake where the sun is always on the horizon. There are birds. 14, A gas station with vast lots of fuel pumps stretching out over the hills. When getting gas at the pumps, part of the purchasing process prompts the buyer to enter a name using the keypad. Rumors are written on bathroom walls, in the crevices under gas pump canopies, spoken over filter coffee; this is a place where concealed things are sought. Visitors are allowed to sleep in their vehicles. There is an abandoned car with a bumper sticker of a zoo pride flag. 15, A werewolf’s butthole. 16, A camp on the side of a mountain, at the foot of a tall cliff, on a flat area of ground before the descending slope then continues and sprawls out down to pine forests and cold rivers. Into the cliff face is carved fine text detailing instructions for vast facets of veterinary care, from maintaining a dog’s nails to medicinal regimens for diseases to steps for performing life saving surgeries after various injuries and so on. The information is incredibly accurate and clear, and is not from any other book, lecture, or other existing verbiage. 21, A passenger airliner at 4% capacity. The flight attendant is not a cat. There is no turbulence, though now and then it feels as though the craft is making a descent for a while. The flight attendant is not a cat. 22, A parking lot along a bike trail. In the porta-john here, written in permanent marker in very large bold letters, are the words HORSE COCK IS REAL. 23, The top of a wooden climbing tower at Camp Zoo Conversion Therapy. 24, A dressing room with very bright lights and a mirror. There is a blue telephone here with three buttons. The three buttons are labeled, from the top one to the bottom one, in handwritten cursive, “you accept zoosexuality in yourself,” “you hide zoosexuality in others,” and “you are still uncertain.” The door is locked, the key hanging from a hook beside the door on the inside. There is makeup and jewelry. There is a new notebook and a very nice pen. 25, A slowly rotating cube suspended in midair in a very vast dark room. Also in the very vast dark room is a colossal wolfdog. 26, A public square with a fountain. Any coins submerged in the fountain’s waters have their imagery magically replaced with animal imagery. 31, A self-sustaining colony on the dark side of the moon that the US government doesn’t know about. The humans of this colony eat a bio-engineered form of kelp that is grown in vats. The humans of this colony are starved of animal contact in their lives, and worship images of animals in the form of video footage, HD photos, and their own art. The humans dress in faux ears and tails and the like, embodying the animal beauty they find so captivating and desirous. The humans frequently make animal noises as forms of expression. 32, The tour bus of a very successful and popular nu metal band that nearly exclusively does anti zoo songs. 33, An altar in the desert. All elements of the altar are formed of obsidian: there is a wide and shallow circular basin, at the center of which stands a statuette of Dionysus; Standing around the perimeter of the basin are eleven rods, all twice the height of the statuette of Dionysus; Some rods bear obsidian grape vines; One rod bears an empty obsidian bowl balanced atop it; Balanced against one rod is an obsidian shovel. 34, A Burger King with an actual snowman in the lobby. The store’s operating hours are 24/7, 365 days a year. There are no employees here. The snowman has zetas for eyes drawn on in blood. The snowman’s right eye is drawn on in human blood, the snowman’s left eye is drawn on in horse blood. 35, A room full of inflatables. Hundreds and hundreds of inflatables. 36, Dog Dick Tasting Headquarters. 41, A bird’s nest. 42, The lair of Count Suckazoo. 43, Salad Town. 44, Los Angeles, where zoophilia is the predominant culture over anthropophilia. 45, A car parked on the shoulder of a snowy highway. There are no other cars to be seen up or down the road. The engine is running and sounds to be in good condition, with the key in the ignition. The odometer reads 156736.3 miles. The car has a teal coat of paint. The car appears to be from perhaps the 2010s (Earth) or maybe earlier, but it is not any commercial make or model, and no piece on the car bears any serial number of any sort. The heating in the car makes the interior temperature 80°F/27°C. The exterior temperature is -2°F/-19°C. On the face of the glove box is a sticker which reads LOVE and incorporates zoo pride flag colors into its design. It is not inconceivable that another car should pass by, eventually. 46, A library of smells. The staff are furries. 51, A middle school in the middle of the night. Some of the artwork in the display cases in the halls is particularly interesting. Did the teacher not know? Or, did know, and decided to permit it... This place has many locks, almost all of which seem to come open easily if someone jostles them: classrooms, drawers, lockers, many of these things are clearly meant to be locked and simply aren’t. Occasionally in the hallways, a ledger is chained to a wall, hanging there; The ledger details each student’s name and aliases and their daily schedule. Correspondences between staff are often done in the form of handwritten notes. 52, A well in the woods beside a footpath. Atop the stone skirt of the well, many candles stand. Some candles appear to have only been lit for a short time, while others are melted down to short nubs, the wax trickled down the stone and hardened again. The candles—those which are tall enough still—each bear a symbol scratched into its side. Some symbols include: ζ, Θ, Δ, ⛧, ✝, ◯, and ♢. 53, A shopping mall. It’s OBVIOUS. 54, Within a hotel. There is a pool. Through speakers in the ceiling and walls, music is playing at a modest volume; all of the music is either instrumental or has lyrics about zoosexuality. The hotel is staffed and has guests staying, and business people coming and going. 55, A warm pile of laundry in a bedroom on the bed. In another room nearby, there is a Dalmatian-mix who likes lying on piles of laundry. The bedroom and laundry appear to belong to a tidy person who likes Star Trek and works an office job. The light switch in this room has four settings: off, normal light, soft moving rainbow lights, and black light. There is a fan/airfilter near the closet door. 56, A doctor’s office? Did a patient bring in these realistically colored animal cock dildos? Is there like, a medical reason for the video camera on a tripod in the corner of the room? 61, A house that has not been fully constructed. There is a roof. It is lightly raining. On a pedestal at the center of the house is The Book Of Long Awaited Apocalypse. The Book is 2,000 pages long and is bound in human leather, harvested from the skin of a human named Bell. The book contains detailed diagrams of many organs of many different animal and plant species, as well as many illustrations of bestiality. Though the book is not written in a human tongue, if one attempts to read it they will be able to speak aloud its words and understand their meaning. With vivid and unsettling imagery, the book describes in detail the series of events that will lead to human extinction. 62, A small island in the midst of an incredibly wide river. Shallowly buried, with one corner in fact sticking out of the ground, is a cardboard box containing The Hymnbook Of Zoosexual And Zooromantic Rejoicings, Ennui, Small Talk, And Marches. 63, A modest houseboat. S’pretty cool. The captain has a lot of art on the wall and a lot of stories that he is probably going to keep to himself. Zoo visitors are so, so welcome here. 64, Bzzzzzt! The ground shakes. The air vibrates. In this field with cherry blossoms and candy clouds, robotic bee/prairie dog hybrids wage WAR against their TOO SEXUAL enemy, hominids who self report as having had sex with four-leggers in the past or self report as being open to such a thing happening in the future. Bzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzt. bzzt... 65, A print shop where a dude who works there has definitely been taking liberties (big cat fucking liberties) and another dude who works there has been trying to mitigate how blatant it is. A foot guy working there definitely also has his own feety agenda but in the current climate that is just going by completely unchallenged. 66, Dog house. # ζ Most within To Thine Own Self Be Zoo written by Eggshell Ghosthearth. This website contains works of literature, including narrative fiction, creative nonfiction, and poetry. Within this literature, any resemblances to any existing copyrighted materials, trademarks, or persons is completely coincidental, or is used for artistic purposes within the bounds of Public Domain, Fair Use, or Public Figure Status. Much of the literature on this site contains themes of sexuality, though is at no point intended to be pornographic. To Thine Own Self Be Zoo is a personal project and is not a for-profit endeavor.